Cute Brunette Tried to Buy Her Freedom, but She’ll Have to Earn It with Her Wet Little Hole

November 2nd 10:44am - Case #7453284 - Petty Theft - Suspect was belligerent. Caught in the act hiding items on her person in the LP office. Police were about to be called, until LP officer was offered a monetary bribe by suspect. This was refused, but suspect did also propose a service of goodwill to the establishment. LP officer and store manager were satisfied. Charges were dropped and suspects photo was uploaded to store theft database. Evidence logged on Nov 2, 2016.